Negative Self-Image? What a Little Girl Taught Me

On a recent summer night I witnessed something touching and magical that I want to share with you in today’s episode. If you have a negative self-image, or simply want to build a more positive self-image, it’s well worth the ten minute listen!


I recently witnessed something truly beautiful and magical. And I wanted to share it with you. A few days ago, I had dinner with a really good friend and after dinner, after way too much dinner, we decided to go on a quick walk through the city because it was a beautiful summer night as we were walking through all the different department stores.

[00:00:26] And there’s kind of the street with all the. Shopping stores. There was a man outside that was playing beautiful violin music, and a bunch of people had gathered all around him to listen to him. I remember as we were walking that I paid attention to the violin player for split second, and then I thought.

[00:00:57] Yeah, this is kind of nice, but nothing special. I’ll just keep moving. And just, as I was thinking that my friend said grabbed me by the arm actually and said, let’s quickly sit down and listen. And I decided to trust his instinct over mine. So we sat down and we’ll listen to the beautiful music, but it wasn’t the music that caught my eye or at least captured my full imagination.

[00:01:25] Was a dad that was dancing with his two year old daughter.

[00:01:33] He was a middle aged man, maybe mid to end forties. He had a big belly kind of out of shape. He had big glasses on, had lost most of his hair. Had a shirt on it was tucked in, but there was a bit too big shoes that were a little bit dirty. He didn’t look like a winner. He didn’t look impressive. He didn’t look strong and look necessarily smart or successful or wealthy.

[00:02:18] But he was dancing with his two year old daughter. And as they were going in circles and dancing, he would occasionally, as he was holding both her hands, pick her up, kind of swirled her in the air. Um, and she was, she would scream and laugh and joy and her eyes were. So wide and so full of love and so full of admiration the entire time as I was observing the two of them dancing to the music, he was just a, he looked like a very sweet caring father, but she, she looked like a daughter that was adoring her God of a father.

[00:03:09] She looked at her dad as if he is a God. A giant of a man strong, so strong. He could just, whenever he decided just launcher in the air, he was smart and capable. He was all knowing and all powerful. And he was there. Present protective, loving, caring, smiling down at her like sunshine.

[00:03:43] And in that moment, I remembered my own children and I remembered my nephews and my nieces remembered small children looking up to their fathers and their mothers. I could, for a moment, at least I could feel that perspective, four children. If we do right by them for children, we are giants. We are gods.

[00:04:16] There are amazed by all the things we know, all the things we’re capable of to them. It looks like we are all knowing all capable, so strong, so big. It’s funny. I remember always thinking my grandmother was big, you know, until I grew a little bit and then she was tiny. Okay. Perspectives, everything in life.

[00:04:43] My mom was a giant to me when I was a kid. And now she’s, she’s a tiny, tiny, loving little woman that I can like hug and she disappears. It’s all perspective. So that was watching the two dance and I was smiling, kind of getting lost in my own thoughts. I asked myself, no, I actually didn’t ask myself. I told myself, this is the way we ought to look at ourselves.

[00:05:17] This, this man could look in the mirror and see a bold overweight, slightly sloppy. Old man, or he could choose to look in the mirror the way his daughter looks at him and see a giant, see somebody that is powerful, strong, see somebody that knows so many things can do so many things and who’s right. And who’s wrong here.

[00:05:50] Are children really that wrong to look at us as giants, to look at us as these amazing beings to admire being a grownup. It almost is heartbreaking when my children talk about how much they want to be grown up. And I remember when it was a child, how much I wanted to be grown up. It felt like if I was only a full grown up, I could do so much.

[00:06:19] I would be so big. I would have power. I would have freedom. I wouldn’t rely on anybody. And when my children would say, tell me this, the cynical side of myself would bleed a little bit. I would like look at them and go guys, if you, if you kids only knew, you know, if you only knew how beautiful it is to be a child, You’ll become an adult in a grownup fast enough.

[00:06:47] Don’t hurry, slow down, enjoy it. But now I’m thinking, yes, all that is right. Being a child is beautiful and enjoy it. You don’t have to, you don’t have to sprint to being a grownup, but being a grownup is amazing. It is amazing. I just, we just don’t look at it that way. We just forgot. We are big. We are tall.

[00:07:15] We can see a lot. We are pretty strong. We know a ton of things. We have freedom and we have power if we use it.

[00:07:29] And as the two were dancing, I was thinking, what would it take for all of us to look at ourselves? Like this daughter looks at her dad. Who says that? The way I saw him first, my growing up, I saw him weak old kind of unremarkable sloppy, who says that my eyes were right. They aren’t, who had more truth in their eyes.

[00:07:55] Me stranger passing by as cynical adult. Well, this beautiful two year old little princess. They could see her father for all. He is all he truly is everything. A God, an amazing beam.

[00:08:20] There’s real beauty in that. And

[00:08:28] the hard thing is not to create that beauty, but as always it’s to retain it. So, what would it take? What would it take for me to see myself the way my sons look at me, even by thinking this out loud, I get uncomfortable. I physically got uncomfortable. Cause my kids think I’m amazing. My kids think I’m incredible.

[00:09:01] I think kids think.

[00:09:06] I can do anything and they’re right.

[00:09:14] it’s not about seeing that it’s about accepting it. I think that’s the tough part. Also. That’s a beautiful part. So that was the beautiful gift that I received walking through the streets, slowing down, sitting down for a moment. And it was not the music that filled my heart with joy and magic and wonder, but it was this dad and his daughter.

[00:09:39] I’m very grateful for it.

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