Founder & CEO @ Close
Steli Efti I recently had another IFS session on an elliptical, and this time it led to an unexpected encounter with my inner narrator. TRANSCRIPTI did an exercise today on the elliptical. These should be called the elliptical diaries, really the old grandma diaries or grandma workout diaries, but there’s just something, you know, because I have …
Whenever you pour your heart into a creative endeavor, those critical thoughts can derail you. “You can’t do this.” “This isn’t good enough.” “Who do you think you are to even try?” (And yeah—I’m holding back here. The voices in my head are much harsher.) You can try to fight these voices. That’s been my …
I’ve had another inner work session on the elliptical, and this time I’ve addressed a major emotional challenge of mine: chronic tension. I’ve had a very vocal inner critic that used to be the driving force in my life, and it drove me to success in many areas of my life. But it came at …
I’ve recently had an interesting experience doing an IFS (Internal Family Systems) audio workshop while working out on a threadmill. There’s something about working out physically while also doing inner work with your mind that I sparked my curiosity. Books mentioned: Greater Than the Sum of Our Parts: Discovering Your True Self Through Internal Family …
About a year ago I had my first therapeutic MDMA session, and one of the biggest gifts that stayed with me is a type of meditation. This is the first time that I talk about this meditation and what it has done for me—and while I found it challenging to articulate this in detail, what …
I’m highly self-critical by nature, often to a fault. A good amount of the inner work I’ve been doing over the past 2 years has been about reigning that part of myself in. But now that I’m exploring the IFS (Internal Family Systems) I had a realization: While my inner critic has been the dominant …
I’ve talked about how out of touch with my emotions I was here many times. One of the things that helped me changes this tremendously was a very simple exercise: I simply started to name my emotions. In this episode, I share how I’ve benefitted from naming my feelings. TRANSCRIPT[00:00:00] Right around the time when …
In this episode, I talk about when parts of myself are at conflict with each other. I’m the type of person that’s very good at pushing myself to do things, I’ve got a strong inner pusher. But there’s also a part of me that sometimes just want to relax, take it easy and goof off. …
In this episode I talk about an idea I’ve been exploring for a while now: That we’re all made up of different parts, and how they often conflict with each other. There was a time when I thought the best way to deal with the undesirable parts is to just eliminate them, to get rid …
There’s a reason why being true and authentic matter so much to me: I know what’s on the other side. When I was young, especially during my early teenage years, I lied a lot, habitually. In this episode, which is a conversation I’ve had back in September of 2020, I share my long and winding …
The past couple of weeks being back in Germany, I’ve started doing what Germans do a lot: think, and think, and think some more. It got to the point where it feels out of balance: too much introspection, too much heavy self-analysis, too much thinking and reflecting, and not enough living for the moment. At …
Here’s a book recommendation. A very quick and easy read, but one that moved me nonetheless and that I gifted to my nephews and nieces. TRANSCRIPT [00:00:00] I read the both died at the end[00:00:02]and it is a recommendation. I recommend you read the book. I shall do so for sure. Yes. You asked when …
There’s a magic to going into a situation completely open, unprepared and without a plan, and improvising your way into a beautiful dance. Even though there’s always the risk that instead of a beautiful dance, you just stumble and fall flat on your face. But if you’re not willing to get lost, you’ll never find …
I never would have expected that pigeons could teach me something about myself—but some of life’s most valuable lessons come in surprising ways. TRANSCRIPT: In this episode of the podcast, you’re going to hear a conversation that Romina and I had back in mid December, 2020 when I was still in Austin. And I had …
I’ve been reading a book about personal change and anger, and one paragraph early on in the book stood out to me: [If you want to change yourself, do it] very slowly, no matter how crazy or self-defeating our current behavior appears to be. It exists for a reason and may serve a positive and …
I’ve been wondering how I managed to accept some of the people in my life fully—just the way they are. I’m blessed to have many friends in my life whom I love and care for, but there are very few people whom I fully accept, whose flaws and shortcomings I can have in my life …
While homeschooling my two sons, I witnessed my younger one just in the midst of that special phase where you learn to read and begin to make sense of words. And I (once more) realized the importance of fun: When teaching a new skill, don’t stress out about getting it right and avoiding mistakes. Don’t …
I do believe that we all have an intuitive sense for truth. We know the truth at all times, we feel it, we can sense it deep down. But for a variety of reasons, we cover it up, we edit it, we apply a filter to it, we hide it behind logic or stories we’re …
One of the questions that reading Kafka has brought up in my mind is: How much pain are we causing others by trying to carry their burden? How much of the help I’m providing to others is really in the long run taking away their potential blessings? One thing since reading the transformation from Kafka …
Here’s another episode that can be tagged with “aftereffects of reading Kafka”. Little Voice In My Head A: “Steli, it’s 11am and you’ve not done anything yet”. To which Little Voice In My Head B responded: “Well, fuck you, I don’t have to do anything if I don’t have to!” And both of them got …
Another beautiful insight that came out of some time I spent with my two sons recently was this: Remember to have fun when you do fun stuff. Here’s the full story: Transcript: I had a, really beautiful moment with my kids this weekend. So on Thursday when I went to their house, one of my …
I recently started reading The Trial by Franz Kafka, and there’s one thing I really love about this book: It has already raised so many questions in my mind and made me think thoughts I wouldn’t have pondered if it weren’t for this book. This episode is just me sharing my reading experience while I’m …
Now that I’m back in Germany, I’m spending a lot of time with my two sons, and there was a beautiful experience of trust and courage we’ve shared together that I want to capture here. Transcript:Yesterday, I went to the playground with my sons and my oldest son. Told me that recently his mom and …
I’ve never had a great relationship with my Germany, even though I was born here, I grew up here, I have family and friends I love here. I never liked living here. And whenever I came back to spend time in Germany, I always like coming back to a place I didn’t belong, nor wanted …