Embracing Life’s Perfect Imperfection

What you most reject is what holds the greatest potential for growth. Whether it’s a feeling you don’t want to feel, a person with whom you have a challenging relationship—it’s typically what you want to avoid that reveals your deep truths. Which is one of the reasons why I try to embrace life’s perfect imperfections …

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104: Fixing Other People’s Problems Instead of Dealing With Your Own Shit

Imagine having a friend with a drinking problem. You can clearly see they’re on a path that’ll lead them down a bad road. You offer your help and invite them to stay with you in your home. You’ll take care of them so that they can get their life together. Except, that your friend doesn’t …

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The Courage to Be a Degenerate

After 100 episodes of intimate navel-gazing and serious inner work, it’s time so start sharing some of the silly goofing around we do in between. Expect nothing meaningful from this episode. We’re talking Jocko Willink, Charles Bukowski, the courage of degenerates, and the cowardice of choosing to live your life in the safe harbor of …

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The Neverending Story: How We Narrate Our Every Moment

I started paying more attention to the soundtrack of my live—that inner narator that constantly makes up stories about what it is I do. And I started experimenting with it: What if I change the narration? What if I switch it off? What if I give my narration a theme, so that whatever I do …

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The Potato Chip Friendship

Recently while on vacation in Greece I was looking for some more lighthearted literature and picked up Ham on Rye by Charles Bukowski. Well, let’s say it wasn’t exactly the feelgood read I sought, but the story of the potato chip friendship stuck with me. TRANSCRIPT:[00:00:00] I’ve been reading Rye on Ham from Charles Bukowski. …

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Kissing My Mother’s Feet

I was recently on vacation with my family and shared a very special moment with my mother: For the first time in decades, I felt like the child of my mother—and her being my parent. I’ve stepped into the role of being her protector, coach, caretaker, and teacher for such a long time that I …

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Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevsky

In this episode I share my thoughts after reading Dostoyevsky’s Crime And Punishment. A much more effortful, and less rewarding read than I had hoped, but I do love how deep it goes into the central theme of the story—which is what happens when we go against our own moral compass. [00:00:00] The book. Crimes …

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Meeting My Inner Endurer

I’ve yet again learned about another part of myself: It’s the part that I call The Endurer, and it’s one of the parts that my core Self hasn’t fully integrated, or even acknowledged enough. I like to highlights other parts of myself that seem more impressive and heroic. But much of inner work is seeing …

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Lying Is a Delightful Thing, for It Leads to Truth

“Lying is a delightful thing, for it leads to truth” wrote Dostoyevsky in Crime and Punishment. We discuss how you arrive at the truth through lying, and then about the twisted lies of Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina, how her insistence on denying her own truth eventually leads to her ending her own life. TRANSCRIPT [00:00:00] lying …

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The Dangers Of Overcorrecting Your Mistakes

Sometimes we don’t learn from our mistakes at all, and we keep repeating them again and again. And sometimes we overcorrect our mistakes so much, that we just replaced one distortion with another. Doing inner work requires a lot of sensitivity. You have to be aware of your own emotional reaction, but then also be …

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Less Discussions, More Decisions

Many years ago in the early days of Close, my cofounders and I would go out for dinner once a week to discuss the business. These discussions were good, but oftentimes they were just that: discussions. At some point, Anthony said: “Let’s stop talking about all these different things and make a decision. What’s one …

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The Joy of Inner Conflict in Tolstoy’s Writing

One thing I love about Tolstoy’s writing is with how much insight and empathy he’s making the characters of his novels come alive. I learn so much about myself, and humanity in general by reading Anna Karenina, a novel written more than 100 years ago—much more than I’ve gained from reading a hundred books on …

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The Beautiful Wisdom of Anna Karenina’s Derailing Marriage

I’ve been reading Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina recently, and absolutely love this book for the sharpness with which he looks at relationships, and how people communicate. There’s so much wisdom within these pages, about misunderstandings beyond repair, painful truths and the convenient lies we sometimes hope for. TRANSCRIPT[00:00:00] okay. So. I am currently reading Anna Karenina …

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